Half a decade, 5 and a half years, 66 months, 289 weeks, 2, 022 days. No matter how I measure the length of time between my last post and today it seems unfathomable. So much has changed in my life and yet so many of the same struggles arise and that is not a surprise, not because I am incapable of lasting change, but rather because a straight line does not exist and therefore progress does not occur in a linear (straight) path either.
A straight line is an abstract mathematical theory. Look closely at the natural world around you and you will notice that texture, depth, movement, and imperfections exist everywhere, straight lines are an impossibility. Why then would we expect people to be able to achieve the impossible?
As we all move through life we move forward through time which, at least currently, is the only dimension that prohibits movement in any other way. Every other dimension is fluid and therefore like the oceans ebbs and flows, and changes its movement based on gravity, weather, climate, and other external forces.
Our lives are complex and filled with external forces that impact our ability to move in a linear fashion. We have experiences that may push us forward and encourage us to make massive positive progress, or pull against us forcing us to exert ample effort to hold our ground and sometimes we are able to continue to move forward, while other times these forces cause us to back slide. Initially, these opposing forces appear to do nothing besides fight against us, however it is in the moments of adversity that we are able to hone our tools and skills to better be equipped for future challenges. While we are able to strengthen our response no amount of practice and positive progress will put an end to these trials.
In the last 5 years my waters have provided me with monumental momentum to make some positive changes to factors that were in my control. I have also had to fight against some very strong currents to hold my ground and from time to time they are able to push against me and drag me back into old thought processes and mindsets. I am committed however to keep paddling against these currents. There may be days that I just go with the flow and drift in whatever direction the waters take me but I will continue to forgive myself for my imperfections and enjoy the journey as much as I can and I hope that you will do the same.
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